


Prickly

by Thorina



Category: South Park
Genre: Craig is a cactus, Craig's p.o.v, I feel like being a cactus would be cool, I'd take that risk, M/M, Not really though, but anyway, it probably wouldn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 00:29:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9354407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorina/pseuds/Thorina
Summary: Fortunately for Craig, cacti don't have to worry about their future.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Tweek worries too much and Craig comforts him in his own weird way.

~~~~

I am a cactus.

It's when Tweek bumps into me and yelps like he's in pain that I decide this. His eyes go wide and he drops all his books, twitching and shaking in a way that made it seem like he would've dropped them even if I hadn't bumped into him. I laugh a little, then help him pick them up.

"Craig," Tweek mutters when I hand him his books. Or at least he tries to, but he can't really be quiet at all. So instead it's kinda just at normal talking level, which I guess _is_ muttering for Tweek.

"Tweek?" I say, nasally voice highly contrasting to his own voice, which was comparable to a chipmunk's.

"Sorry! I was just thinking!" I think about making a comment about that being rare, or dangerous or something else rude, but Tweek continues before I can. "Oh god! My parents keep talking about my future! How should I know what I want to be when I don't even know what I am now! Gah! It's too much pressure!"

We're walking down the sidewalk to school, and I pause to study Tweek intently. I know that my gaze makes him nervous when he stops walking and notices me staring, letting out a little "eep!" when his eyes meet mine. He lets out some little noises from the back of his throat that I'm not even sure how to describe, his eyes breaking away from mine to look at the sidewalk.

"Why are you looking at me like you wanna- tch- devour me?!" Tweek gets out shakily, pulling at his hair.

"I'm trying to figure out what you are," I answer, automatically taking his hands out of his hair gently.

Tweek looks hopeful, and neither of us really notice how I keep one of his hands in mine. "What am I?"

I make a low humming sound, looking straight ahead before I answer, "Gay."

Tweek shoved me into a conveniently (or inconveniently from my point of view) placed trash can.

"Ahh! Craig! Are you okay! Is that trash can poisonous! Is it eating away your flesh! Ngh!" Tweek looks down at me, hopping from one foot to another and pulling at his fingers. For all his jitteryness (that's not a word but Tweek isn't a name so oh well), the kid sure was strong.

I laugh a little, the sound low and weird sounding. "Nah, I deserved that for being a piece of trash," I laugh even more at my own joke and let Tweek pull me back up. I kick the trash can, even though I already knocked it over and things probably can't get worse for the thing. Then I look over at Tweek, or, more specifically, our entwined hands.

"It's a miracle!" I say, over-dramatically gasping. "How did I not notice before?"

Tweek looks nervous, but that's nothing new. "Jesus! What is?"

"You can touch me!" I don't sound as excited as I'm trying too; it's kinda hard with my voice, but I keep going anyway. I've always had a thing for movies, and often would annoy my friends by turning little things into some kind of dramatic skit or overblown performance. Honestly, I was a little jealous of Tweek for his natural acting abilities, but now I'm sure that just means he'll be the star of the first movie I direct. The thought excites me.

But anyway...

"You can still touch me, even though I'm a cactus!" I continue, glancing at Tweek, who just looks confused and- surprise- scared.

"Ahh! You're a cactus! How did I not see this coming!" Tweek wretches his hand out from mine, bringing both his hands to his hair, like his hands are magnets and his hair gives off a magnetic pull whenever he's afraid or nervous, which is always.

I take his hands in mine, partly to keep him from pulling his hair and partly because I like holding his hands, and say, "Do you know what this means?"

Tweek shakes his head jerkily.

"You're going to be okay," I say smoothly. "If you can handle being around a prickly asshole like me all the time, then the future will be easy to handle."

"Ngh. Are you sure?" Tweek asks as we continue to walk to school. I hope we won't be late.

"One of us has to be." I smile, squeezing Tweek's bony hand. He smiles back, and I really am sure that our future will be fine.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Great, now I want a cactus.


End file.
